One of my passions is working with men and women who say feeling small is painful and they are tired of this pattern; and are committed to making a shift to being bigger. My definition of being small includes: feeling like you need to shrink in large crowds, having trouble speaking your opinion, being easily swayed by someone else, feeling like you need to wrap up tightly and protect yourself when around other people that are not inherently threatening you.
Sometimes, when we are younger, we get messages about why we should not speak up or be big with our energy. Maybe when we got excited our parents would tell us to be quiet, or maybe when we got upset our parents said we were “too much” and our feelings weren’t validated. Maybe still, we were emotionally or physically abused and being small helps us to feel safe; because other people were dangerous to be around.
Our bodies learn from these experiences and we create patterns in our body and mind. Our mind pattern may be: my opinions don’t matter and other people usually know better than I do. Our body pattern may be, stay as small as possible, take up as little space as possible.
When we are first learning this pattern, it is for safety and to get along in our environment without upsetting the status quo. This pattern feels very comfortable and safe, like a soft blanket that quiets our upset and lets us know we can go on. As we grow our bodies continue to use this pattern and it becomes like second nature and we may forget that we were a different way once.
We forget that when we were very young we loved without expectations, we were as big as felt comfortable, we shared our opinion and played with others without fear of rejection. At some point we begin to feel pain around our pattern. It is no longer comfortable because we do not need it anymore. We are no longer in the situation with parents or others where we cannot speak our mind or opinion freely. We are adults and we have control over our lives; we can be as big as we want to be! That is why we begin to feel pain. Our bodies can remember why we needed our safety blanket, so it may be scary at times to be bigger than our old pattern. That’s why we begin to have experiences that confirm we have control over our bodies and how big we choose to be. We begin to create a new pattern.
Our true nature is to feel free; to love, laugh, be big and sustain connection to others and with ourselves. Being small is not honoring our true nature.
Do not fear! There are many avenues for shifting this pattern and feeling more awake, alive and Big! Check out my e-book, 3 Essential Ways to feel Empowered, that can get you started. Also, check out my About page if you are thinking of starting your empowerment journey with me.
You can also book online a free 15 minute phone consultation with me if you are interested in how your patterns might shift.
Love to you.